Tag Archives: flying

“I Hope You Have A Pleasant Stay in Stavanger” – The Reality of Settling Somewhere for Good

Yesterday we moved.

Kind of.

We still have to go back to Oslo. Our apartment is not packed up, but we have removed most of the things that we use on a day to day basis, like our clothes, toiletries, shoes, and kitchen machines. We are renting it out until mid July, at which point we will go back and help organize and pack up for the movers, who will come at some point. But we will be there for a visit. We will come with the clothes we will wear. We will bring toothbrushes. Cuz that stuff isn’t there anymore.

Yesterday, we loaded up the car, did a couple of random errands like get the dog vaccine card stamped at a vet we will never visit again and pick up some gourmet coffee, and then Kiddo and I hopped on a plane to Stavanger and Hubby drove with Poodle and the car full of lots of our crap across the country. It felt weird, but not that weird.

Until 40 minutes into the flight, when we were almost on the ground, and the pilot announced the weather in Stavanger and said, “I hope you all have a pleasant stay in Stavanger.” Then, WHOOSH! Tears.

“Oh my god,” I thought, “We live in Stavanger now. My stay in Stavanger is indefinite.”

I had a similar moment when I changed my voter registration to Switzerland. I had sent my ballot to Greece for the 2004 election, and then for some reason they were still sending it there for awhile, and then when we got married and I changed my name, I went to the office in the US and told them I needed to be sure my ballot got to me where we were. They asked where that was, and it was a big deal that it was overseas (not a lot of army people in the area? Not a lot of traveling businessmen/women and their families?). The options were to send the ballot there for one calendar year or indefinitely. She asked how long I would be living in Norway and I said, longer than a year, that is for sure, and so she told me to mark, “indefinite.” I didn’t want to then, and I don’t want to now.

Not for any other reason than it is scary.

I think the hardest part about essentially settling here for good (whichever city it is in Norway), is that it is NOTHING like the US. It will never be the US. That can be both positive and negative, but it is true. If I live here and raise Kiddo (and any other babies I might have) here, then this will be her childhood. She wont have…I don’t even know! She won’t have Saturday morning cartoons in English. She won’t have grandma´s house where she goes and watches Nickelodeon and eats cottage cheese and canned peaches. She won’t have a birthday party at McDonald´s. She wont have an elementary school tradition including tea bag dyed pillowcases for Native American celebrations or plaid shirts and cowboy hats and square dancing for the old west dances. She won’t have Halloween. She won’t have OMSI summer camps. She won’t have my childhood, in other words.

Of course my kid(s) won’t have the same childhood as I had. That would be weird and impossible. I think parents always sort of hold on to the idea that their kids will have lots in common with their own childhoods, though, consciously or subconsciously. That is just what we know.

For expats, it is easier to understand – superficially – that our kids will have different upbringings than we had. We expect these obvious differences, such as food preferences, song knowledge, slang words, cartoons and so on. They will adapt to where they are, as much as we make them mac and cheese (or Mac Oh Geez!).

But it is easiest, I think, to avoid thinking about the problems they – or we – will have living away from one easy home base. For us, Kiddo has half her nationalities represented in Norway. She still will likely feel in the middle, because I am American and I do things differently – not exactly American anymore, I don’t think, but definitely not full fledged mainstream Norwegian. How will a child cope with being moved a lot, or in our case, feeling pulled between two poles: one set of grandparents (and cultural references) on one side of the world, the other set of grandparents (with different cultural references) on the other side of the world?

When I started writing this, I was only thinking of myself. How I felt about moving. But I guess it dredges up a whole lot of feelings about my life, which now is certainly centered around Kiddo, and where I fit in the world.

I guess I am left feeling very small, and at the start of a long windy road called life. I don’t know what will happen here in Stavanger. I don’t know what kind of childhood Kiddo will have. I don’t know if I will stay at home for the duration of her early years, or find a job or some sort of other work. I don’t know which way my passions – about organic and compassionate food, music, writing, reading, meditating, and so on – will evolve. I don’t know if we will be able to have another child, and if so, how that will affect our family. There are so many unknowns.

Which brings me back to the Buddhist axiom: you only have today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow might never come. You have just got to live. So that is what I am trying to do, wherever I am, however I feel, and whoever is around me. It is not always easy but it is all I have. (And that is a lot!)


Catching up – Welcome to New Zealand

What a smooth trip!

We did our best to tire out Kiddo all day. We went swimming at the beach, played back in the room until check out, ate lunch out while she napped, and then went to the zoo until it closed. Then we took a taxi to the airport, went through security like a breeze, and found the Air New Zealand lounge.


OMG. Kid´s paradise! There was a whole room for kids to play in. It was full of toys, books, and legos. Hubby and I had a beer and some light food while Kiddo played by herself.  Then we each played with her for a bit. We had come to the airport almost 3 hours early because we wanted to make sure everything was ok for the flight – mainly the seats. So after we were through security and everything, that left 2 hours for her to play, almost. It was just so perfect I have to gush about it. Seriously, there should be something like that in the main terminal. It would be to everyone´s benefit to have kids nice and intellectually and physically tired out before they get on a plane.

So she fell asleep practically immediately, and I held her on my lap until the fasten seatbelt sign went off and then I laid her down on her seat. She wasn’t very comfortable for awhile, but she still slept. She slept the whole next eight hours. It was beautiful. 🙂

A person on the flight had a medical emergency. I think it was a heart attack. A couple of doctors rushed to help, but we didn’t turn back, so I think they were ok. It did mean, however, that the cabin service was suspended, so we didn’t get dinner until about 3 hours into the flight. That was slightly awkward, mostly because I like to scarf my plane meal down and then try to sleep – ESPECIALLY since my toddler was asleep. It is hard to be annoyed when someone else is suffering though, so I think everyone was pretty patient. But I was glad I ate a light meal in the lounge.

Also, we ordered vegetarian meals, because we are trying to only eat organic or at least free range chickens and meats, and plane food almost certainly doesn’t have that. Additionally, I am pretty sure our meals were tastier. We got roasted veg and potato for dinner, with a fruit cup, organic soy milk, and a salad. For breakfast we got butternut squash and greens and brown rice, with a fruit cup. It was great 

I watched two movies: Pitch Perfect, which Hubby never would have watched with me, and Brave, which is too scary for Kiddo yet, but I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t watched it, so that was good.

Anyway, Kiddo slept all the way until we were almost through customs. We declared the food we had, and these two shells that Kiddo and I found on the beach. They were fine, and I was relieved that we didn’t try to sneak them in. I was also relieved that they didn’t confiscate our Kona coffee. 🙂

We got a SIM card for my phone, and one for Hubby´s ipad, so we can use the GPS and find our way around, and make calls to hotels and restaurants and things. Then we got our preordered cab, drove to our airbnb place, and were let in, at 7:30am! Talk about a perk of airbnb!

Then we found a café that had a sandbox in the courtyard. Hubby and I had breakfast and a cup of coffee while she played by herself. We ALMOST felt like we were on a flashback to our childless days. Pretty fun…for a minute.

All in all, the flight was smooth, the people are friendly, and our accommodations seem great. Welcome to New Zealand!